"I am strong"... It is just Wednesday evening and I am feeling as if it is Friday night. I did not have any major projects at hand to submit nor was I running short of time at work or at home . Why then am I feeling drained ? I did a rewind of the last few days and a deep frown appeared between my brows. I was being an "extremly good person"!! This realization made me question and rethink of my own habits and behaviour. The answer I discovered was - I was not being assertive enough. I decided to bring myself back on track!!! It is extremely important to treat yourself a little "me time" and self reflect on whether you are assertive or not at all. Assertiveness / assertive behaviour is an individual's quality of being forthright about one's own needs and rights without coming foward as being very aggressive or passive. Tips on being Assertive :
- Assess your communication skills : it is important how you voice your feelings or thoughts in words.They should not come out as neither being very aggressive nor passive . Instead of using phrases like"You always" or " You never" try using phrases like " i feel that.." or " it seems to me ....".
- Maintain an eye to eye contact and keep your stance straight in front of the person you are talking to.This makes you come out as being confident.
- If you are someone who easily says "yes" to people around you , then plan your response ahead in time . Practise using phrases like " Let me get back to you " or " i need some time to think about it ". Make sure you get back with your response to them .
- Do not feel bad or embarassed about saying "No" to something or someone. You can use phrases like " I can't make it this time as i already have plans,will try to make it next time". Saying "No" does not make you a bad person .
- You can practise being assertive with someone you are comfortable with or even in front of the mirror. Standing in front of the mirror you can keep a check on your body language and your eye contact.
- There are times when you might feel overwhelmed before giving a speech or putting your thoughts in words in front of people : take deep breath,Â focus on your breathing and try to relax . Try giving yourself postive motivation by saying :" i can do this "/ " i know my speech very well".
- Being positive is very important and always belive in yourself .
Most important component in being Assertive is to treat yourself with respect and have confidence in yourself. I believe we sooner or later realise our drawbacks. However it is very important to spend more time and effort in practicing and overcoming them.